I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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