I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
