the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
