She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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