"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have demons in me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
