Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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