i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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