I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
