Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
