maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
