Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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