I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
