dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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