Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
