I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
