Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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