is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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