Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
