once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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