i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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