do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
