I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did i walk over a car last night?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
