You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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