so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
