before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
