Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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