I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
