Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
