If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
