Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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