Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
