Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
