Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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