I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
