you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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