I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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