its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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