The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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