i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
