One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
