I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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