I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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