Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
