we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
