Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
