There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
