Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
