In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
