saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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