so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
