in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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