i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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