i think i have herpe
just one?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
