Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
