he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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