Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
